Thursday, April 5, 2012

How is Nikki Haley like a potato? Ask Mitt Romney.

Mitt Romney, our governor's favorite candidate for president, visited Jay Leno last week -- apparently to shore up his numbers among cranky conservative insomniacs -- and played a little word-association game using a random list of contemporary American politicos.

So reports The State in a recent edition:

Here is what Romney said when Leno asked him to say what came to mind.

N.J. Gov. Chris Christie: “Indomitable ... man of girth.” U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida: “The American dream.” U.S. Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin: “Creative.” New York developer Donald Trump: “Huge.” Former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania: “Press secretary.”

And, drum roll, please: South Carolina’s own Gov. Nikki Haley: “Energetic.”

Aah, gosh, and, even with her endorsement, the Mittster lost South Carolina.

In a landslide.


Romney's answer reminded me of two things.

One is how Queen Elizabeth II strained to find something pleasant to say about her former daughter-in-law after Diana's death in 1997; she finally said that Diana had been a "remarkable" woman. Which was accurate enough, as people certainly talked a lot about Diana. It said nothing, however, about the Queen's real feelings for her grandsons' mother.

The other thought came from childhood, when my science teacher demonstrated the potential to derive energy from various organic material, including potatoes and lemons. Poke the sensors of an Ohm meter into an Idaho gold and you'll see what I mean: It's energetic, too.

According to, Romney's compliment wasn't much of one. Ask it "What has energy?" and it will tell you, "Every thing in the universe has energy."

Mmm. Florida Senator Marco Rubio is "the American dream," but Governor Nikki Haley is like cosmic dust, potatoes, citrus fruit and decaying organic matter -- she's "energetic."

Reckon that means she's no longer on Romney's short list for vee-pee?

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